I heard someone pondering recently, “It must be nice to be a butterfly; to have the purpose of getting out of an egg, eating all day, building a cocoon, turning into a butterfly, pollinating flowers, and then laying eggs. You know your purpose. It’s already set up. There’s no need to question what to do with life, the butterfly already knows intuitively.”
I think at some point, all of us have felt that way at one time or another: “What am I to do with life? What is my purpose? Who am I meant to be?” If only I knew which path to take. There are so many options, I just want it laid out in front of me! I want to end up feeling fulfilled, satisfied, complete.
As a woman, I struggled for a long time with this. I knew intuitively that there was someone or something greater than everything else out there. I found that to be the God of the Bible. It told me that He is perfect and makes no mistakes. My design and role in life I knew God designed it, but what if – what if – He messed up with me? I grew up with many pushing the idea that women are “lesser than” or men are “lesser than”; that women weren’t supposed to be content with where they naturally wanted to be; that roles should reverse.
Can I submit this with all the charity of the God who gave His only Son to die on a cruel cross for you and I: You are beautifully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14) God knew you before you were ever conceived in the womb. (Jeremiah 1:5) God has made you for a reason. (Colossians 1:16-20) And He loves you enough that He sent His ONLY begotten Son to die for you. (John 2:16) In fact, He loves you at each and every point of your life, especially when you seem the most abandoned, the most ungodly and unloved (Romans 5:6-11) and that He is perusing you even now and if He knew you were the only one who would accept His death in place of your sin debt, then He would go through the pain and suffering of the cross again. (Luke 15:4)
There’s a road map laid out before you with multiple options and paths you can take. There are only two destinations at the end of this life, though. An eternity with a loving God who formed you for a beautiful purpose and who is calling you to Him right now (John 5:24 and Romans 6:23) or an eternity in a place that was made for the explicit enemy of God, Satan, but will also capture you if you reject the God who gave His life for you. (Matthew 13:50)
After making that first choice to go down the path of faith in Christ, then comes the part where the caterpillar is climbing out of the egg. There is a hunger and thirst after the Word of God. That word of God lays out every aspect of life: what to eat, what to wear, who to marry, whether or not to get into debt, what people are beneficial to you. I have found so much joy, peace and contentment for who I am. I love being how God has designed me to be – to the extent that I don’t even care about the hair dyes or make up and just really enjoy that I am a painting that God has made. Anything I do should be to glorify His mighty works.
Pretty soon, you are no longer a caterpillar but are going through a process of forming a cocoon around yourself. This is a deep change that sometimes bring you needing isolations with only you and a Bible. A caterpillar is in a cocoon for about 10 days. This is a growth that others can’t see until you immerge new but it shows the work that has been going on inside of your heart and mind. Then there’s the moment when the butterfly must work itself out of it’s chrysalis. Did you know that if you were to try to help that butterfly get free, you would kill it? It’s a painful, exhausting process a butterfly must go through, but it gives it the strength, endurance and beauty that butterfly was designed to have. Similar for a new believer in Christ. And every time we follow the commands God has laid out in His word, we are able to make a better choice for our future and the future of those around us.
Once the butterfly has immerged and its wings have dried, it is able to fly too heights it has never seen before; able to go across the country by the strength God designed it to have; to pollinate and help the world around it in ways that butterfly has been ordained to do.
The same goes for you. If you have been born again, there will come growth and hunger; surround yourself with believers who encourage the growth and desire of the milk and meat of the Word of God. There will come a time where you will need to have a wilderness moment and get solitary with you and God for a season. It’s okay. shut off the phone. Get away from the distractions. Prepare yourself for this by daily getting away for 30 minutes or longer with a notebook, pen, Bible and concordance and learn to be still and let God work inside of you.
Around this will be the largest battle of your life and God will be there every step of the way if You allow yourself to lean on Him and His understanding. For me, it happened ten and a half years after I got saved. My son, at 19 weeks gestation, was stillborn. It may not be the biggest trial of our faith in the completion of our lives, and we’ve had other large moments that were growing us to be able to handle that, but that has been the largest and most defining season. And God was there, holding us through it, He gave so much peace in the midst of sorrow. S.T. and I grew closer to God and by doing so, we grew closer to each other. Our marriage is stronger, our faith has been tried, tested and strengthened and it is a more beautiful picture of grace than we could have ever made.
Since then, God has allowed us to be involved in “pollinating”, if you will, His garden. Encouragement, strength, grace, love, and prayers to those both born again and those who are still trying to figure out where, who and maybe even if there even is a God. Our lives have been a testimony to the power and peace He gives and it is reaching farther than I can even comprehend. I didn’t want to lose my sweet baby, but that baby was God’s, anyway. The Lord gives and the Lord took Enoch to be with him. Enoch’s entire purpose was for the growth of his parents and the glory of God, and now that he has fulfilled his purpose, he is in a far more beautiful place than this one.
I am thankful for that. While here on earth, I intend to worship God by the way I am a helpmeet to my husband and mother to my children, but once my earthly body has died and my purpose here on earth is complete, I intend to be buried in running shoes, I have a playdate with my baby boy, singing with him around the throne of Jesus and praising God that my sweet boy doesn’t have to know heartache and pain as we have known.
One of the most beautiful things I find about this is after my body dies, my mind, will, emotions – who I am inside – will be given a new body, one that doesn’t know pain and suffering, one that wont feel the pull of sin, anger, frustration and anxiety. I will die on earth and wake up before the God who made me.
Sadly, I will have my entire life to give an account for. I am a sinner. I have broken all of the commandments of God in my heart and at least 7 of them by the actions of my hands. The Mighty Judge will be sitting there, looking at the list of my offenses and say “You have a sin debt. The price is eternal death. No amount of good works are enough.” and just as the hammer falls, Jesus Christ will step up and say, “No. Her name is in The Book of Life. She has accepted My gift of salvation. We have traded places and I have paid her sin debt. There IS NO CONDEMNATION.” (Romans 10:9-10)
Then, I will be given a passel of crowns that I won by the strength of the Holy Spirit from my race on earth, and be able to give them to the One who gave up EVERYTHING for a dirty rotten sinner like me.
Here’s the thing:
One day, every knee will bow. Every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Sadly, for many that will be too late.
I pray you will consider the design God has created you to be.
If you have questions about salvation, about life after salvation, baptism, how to find peace, what to look for in a church family or anything, please reach out to us. We would love to come along side you and just share the love and amazing work God has done inside of us.
1 O LORD, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O LORD, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.
7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?
8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;
10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.
12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.
13 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.
19 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men.
20 For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain.
21 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?
22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139 KJV
With all the love of Christ,
C.C.
2 Corinthians 3:1-18
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